How do I get over my ex when I know it hurts my wife?

I don't mean to still be in love with my ex. I love my wife and she is so good to me. The feeling is so horrible because she feels me and knows me so well. It is like she sees through the windows of my soul and just smiles and goes about like nothing is wrong. I slipped up and told her I was still attracted to my ex and still loved her. That was a while back. It was stupid. Even though she smiles I know I hurt her. I am amazed that she forgave me. I don't want to feel like this and I know it is unfair to my wife. She has dedicated herself to me and I am being so selfish. Lately I feel like she is slipping away. I tell her I love her and she just smiles and looks away almost wanting to shed tears. She thinks I do not know but I do. It kills me that I am hurting her. I don't want to lose her so what should I do?How do I get over my ex when I know it hurts my wife?
You love your ex-wife but for some reason the marriage did not work. Perhaps despite your attraction and feelings for eachother, you two just weren't compatible on that level.





Every woman wants her husband to only have feelings for her, but life doesn't always work out this way.





Ask yourself, what ways do you love your ex-wife and what ways do you love your current wife? Do you love them for the right reasons or wrong reasons? Do you love them the same way? Who are you more compatible with?





You really might come to conclude that you do love your ex-wife and find her attractive, BUT maybe there is something special about your current wife and your relationship with her that you did not have with your ex-wife. Whatever this is, I think you need to express this to her. She needs to feel confident that you would not leave her for your ex-wife if given the chance. She needs to know that you aren't just using her as someone just to be with so you're not alone.How do I get over my ex when I know it hurts my wife?
Just remember who is with you and loves you and who is not. Otherwise you may lose number two. I take it your ex wanted the divorce?
All you can do is keep loving your wife. Eventually she will come to feel confidant in your devotion. It will take time Good Luck
Wow, unfortunately the damage has been done. The only thing that can heal her is time. You have to regain her trust.
Having someone being able to look into your soul can be very scary which may be one reason why you are still holding on to your ex...it doesn't require you to give 110% of yourself and your vulnerability to your wife. The other thing is, you may not feel like you got closure when you and your ex broke up (do NOT try to make contact). If that is the case, you need to accept that what it is/was is just that and become at peace with that. Don't fantasize about what could have been etc., because it doesn't matter now. Accept you can't change anything, that you chose your wife etc., and be truly grateful for who and what you have today, not what you may have lost.
I dont want to beat you up too bad. Sounds like you already know that you're wrong and you already feel bad that you're hurting an amazing person.


Be careful so you don't lose your wife and end up with no one. You might even consider telling your wife that you don't actually ';love'; your ex, but sometimes you catch yourself thinking about that time in your life. May I suggest that it isn't your ex that you love and miss, but perhaps you misinterpreted your thoughts for those feelings, when in all actuality thinking about your ex makes you grateful for your current wife and your marriage.
wtf? Are you retarded? You had better pull your head out of your asss and forget your ex. You may think fondly of this chick now, but you forget that she is your ex for a reason. You foolishly remember the good times, and not the bad. You either dumped her for some reason, or she dumped you because she didn't want you. You have a wife and your stupid for neglecting what you have in favor of what you don't. Stop thinking about your ex, and if you can't then slap or slam your head into the wall every time you think of your ex. That way you will associate pain with your ex, and you will a very small bit of the pain your causing your wife. I would slap you myself, but that honor belongs to your wife.
Sounds like you have a pretty amazing wife that is hurting inside. Get over your ex, she is an ex for a reason. Start devoting all your thoughts and attention to your wife. You probably made her feel insecure about your relationship by telling her what you felt for the ex. You made her feel that sh eisn;t good enough but now is the time to act on it. Give her a unforgettable night that shows her just how much you really love and treasure her. Let her know just how thankful you are that she is in your life and ALWAYS will be. DO NOT bring up the darn ex again either.