Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Why is my ex trying to drive me crazy- how does he expect me to react?

My ex-fiance as of a week ago, broke it off saying he needed to have time alone for awhile because he has a lot going on in his life %26amp; not a lot of time for me right now. This all came about, after a heated argument over that very fact. Anyways, he has been calling me every night before he goes to bed to see how I am doing %26amp; tells me what he has been up to that day. He still calls me hun %26amp; babe when he's talking to me %26amp; then always, say he call me tomorrow. I act pleasant to him although, I don't offer a whole lot to our conversations mainly because I'm hurt over his decision to take a break instead of trying to compromise %26amp; I'm confused as to why he has been calling me since he wanted time to himself to get whatever it is he needs to get done. Don't get me wrong, I'm glad that he does call me since I love him very much %26amp; hope that someday we can work things out- I don't want to throw 7 yrs. away. Here in lies the problem- two nights ago when he called he said he would call last night but, that call never came, then today he calls me from work to apologize for not calling me %26amp; says he couldn't talk long but, just wanted to apologize %26amp; then said he would call tonight. Well, here I am again waiting for his call %26amp; once again, no call. What is going on in his head? Since, we split I really didn't expect him to be calling me %26amp; I've never ask him to so there is no reason for him to think that I want or expect him to call- why tell me he is going to call %26amp; then not, only to end up apologizing for it later? If anyone would care to enlighten me, please do-thank you.Why is my ex trying to drive me crazy- how does he expect me to react?
He wants to stay in control and informed as far as your life is concerned. He apparently has thrived off of his communication with you. He can break off the engagement, do whatever he wants or needs to do, but wants to be assured you're not out there being emotionally and physically free of him. But, it seems like he's made his choice right now. His life and responsibilities are a priority. And now he's free from one less responsibility - you.Why is my ex trying to drive me crazy- how does he expect me to react?
No calls at night, a break up...I'd be thinking there is another girl in the picture. ESPECIALLY when he's not calling at night and he can't talk for long when he does call you. Oh and he only calls from work? Weird.
I read your the first part of your post and I know what I was thinking, then I read your additional details and I thought ';how naive';





Listen honey.... no guy just breaks off a relationship after seven years to take ';time'; for themselves to figure things out unless there IS someone else.... why on earth would you be so confident that there isnt???? Do you think he would tell you????? He calls you to see where you are.... just in case you check on him or run into him with his new project.... and those nights he didnt call, those are the nights him and his new project had a home run...... you can be in denial all you want, thats your choice but I smell a big fat rat here..... I am sure he is working hard and checking on his mom but how much of the day does that take up? You need to spy on him...... and be very discreet..... and I bet you will see something you never expected.





I have been through this.... and know how it feels to be naive and to eventually find out the whole time the guy was phoning and saying he still loved me, he was checking out a potential new girlfriend..... but unlike you, I paid attention to the signs and eventually caught them...... and even while she stood right there he denied anything was going on ...... men are pathetic at times..... and no, I am not a bitter ex... I have been married for the last 12 years to someone who I love very much .... I am talking an ex that I loved very much and had my heart ripped out of my chest..... it took me a very long time to get over it.... and that situation sounds very similiar to yours... be wise and aware at all times.





good luck
He broke up with you, there is no ';just a break'; in relationships.





He is calling you to be nice because he knows how pissed you were about the argument and he wants you to think he'll come back and wants you to wait for him even though it will be like waiting for Godot -- Someone who never comes.





Don't sit by the phone and wait, move on.
You're rite, it doesn't make a bit of sense. Why when he said he needed space does he still call you as tho nothing has happened, About the only thing different is the fact you're not seeing him on a regular basis is all I can see has changed. In one big way that I don't feel is for the best, is when he tells you he'll call but doesn't. If he was going to take a breather so to speak, he shouldn't be talking to you at all. He should be working on whatever it is that's bothering him. Cut ALL ties, work out the ';problem'; then contact you after he's figured ';whatever'; out. But it seems he just cannot cut off that one connection of no contact. When he does call you again, come rite out %26amp; ask him what the purpose of this ';separation'; was, %26amp; why is he still ';connecting'; with you anyway. Let him know you are baffled by it all, what did he feel was the purpose of it IF he was going to still contact you. I personally feel it's causing more harm than good. See if you can find out why he's doing what he's doing %26amp; how does he expect it to ';prove'; anything but get YOU all upset...the best to you...:)

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