I screwed up and don't know how to fix this?

A couple weeks ago i broke up with my boyfriend of six months. We were really close, but things just starting feeling different and it's my longest relationship and i got scared and started feeling trapped. I hurt him really bad, telling him I didn't love him anymore. And I thought I didn't. But I can't get him off my mind now. Every night the first week I cried myself to sleep.And not quiet soft crying. Awful, snotting, shrieking crying. And now everynight, I start thinking about all the stuff we went through and missing him. It's confusing me. I don't know what I want to do about it. He won't take me back, because I screwed up even more and have been messing around with my other ex since the breakup. (I don't know why.) And I don't know if I want him back. Everything is so confusing right now. I'm torn and messed up and can't fix this on my own. My emotions are all confused. My personality doesn't handle relationships well. I thought I'd movd on and that i liked this other guy I've been messing around with, but if so, why do I go to sleep thinking bout my most recent ex everynight? Why do I miss him?I screwed up and don't know how to fix this?
You're heartbroken. You realize the mistake you've made, and you regret it, but also realize that he is so mad at you that there is like no chance that y'all can get back together. Been there. I know it sounds a little cliche, but it will get better in time. It's taken me 6 months, and I'm still not healed. Get a good group of girlfriends together and have a boy free sleepover. It's hard, but it helps. Trust me :) Hope things get better. You'll find Mr. Right one of these days :)