My boyfriend's hot EX GF is moving nearby ? How to handle it ? Quick points !?

I have been dating my boyfriend for 5 weeks. We were friends for a few months before dating because he was in process of breaking up with his now ex girlfriend.


Because we were friends first I know a lot of background info on his break up.


He has been friends with his ex for a couple years or so.


They were both dating other people. The second they were each single , they started dating last June.


My boyfriend is very very fit. He grew up chubby but has been lean and into clean living for 15 years.


A few months ago, he had told me how his girlfriend had a great personality and lovely face but was out of shape.


He also complained that she lived 2-3 hours away and kept putting off moving closer to him.


In spite of this , he kept dragging his heels to dump her.


Finally his ex gf got tested for her metabolism rate and found out she had high, not low metabolism


. they apparently had a fight over the fact that she could easily lose weight if she tried, but didnt bother. she also refused to wear swimsuits or TMI 'undress' in front of him or wear anything short sleeved because she was insecure.


He apparently lost patience because she could easily lose it if she tried a bit.








And then the last straw was the fact that she was waiting to move near him until she found the perfect apartment.





Anyway, I thought she was mostly out of the picture. I know they still chat via facebook and he calls her a couple times a week.





But this weekend I had a bombshell drop on my heart.





My boyfriend casually informed me that his ex girlfriend has finally found an apartment and is mving to OUR city in a week !





And on top of that she has dropped 15 pounds, that he was ';proud'; of her efforts, that she looks like a new person and worse that she has invited him to rock band/ cookout this weekend.





She is close friends with one of his siblings and theyre already going.





Since Im out of town this weekend, he asked if it would be cool with me to go along.





He then added that she has been a great friend to him over the years.


But she is also now a HOT looking exgf. :(








Should I be scared that his ex is suddenly new and improved and moving close by ?


And I suppose another problem is that they have more in common. same politics, religion, music tastes.


Also his parents really liked her a lot according to his sister.





Thanks !My boyfriend's hot EX GF is moving nearby ? How to handle it ? Quick points !?
I don't need the points.





Nothing you can do if she is moving to the city. Your relationship with this guy is not very strong, so it is possible it may not be able to withstand the appearance of 'old love'. No need to stress yourself. Things happen. See how this one plays out. However, I probably won't place any bets on it.My boyfriend's hot EX GF is moving nearby ? How to handle it ? Quick points !?
If you are in a good relationship, this should not matter.
I would tell him how you feel. just ask him not to do anything stupid with her. If he can't respect that then just ignore him and stay at your friends house. Don't answer your phone and don't tell him your going anywhere. Make sure you stay out of contact with him for a while to. It will give him reason to think about what he did wrong. Your question wasn't long at all.You were very informative thats all.
Possibly. It sounds like he's shallow enough to do just that.





To be totally honest I dated my neighbor for 3 years. We broke up and he started dating someone else. Whenever they had problems he immediately ran to me because we were close and we had history. He eventually dumped her for me.
If he is really over her, he should have no emotions whatsoever while talking about her or telling you she's moving near by.





If you are confident in the relationship, you would be proud not paranoid. He CHOSE YOU and not her. They broke up for a reason.





Personally, I would be worried if my hubby registered any other emotion than disdain when talking about any of his ex's.
This is the only actual question you asked: ';Should I be scared that his ex is suddenly new and improved and moving close by ?'; that anyone can answer in a way that will be specifically helpful to you.





In regards to any event, the question ';should I be scared?'; should always be answered ';no.'; No matter what your goal is, fear will not put you in a place where you can do anything constructive about it.





You've already imagined the worst thing that can happen- that he starts dating her. If that happens there are a number of things that will be inconvenient for you: you will have to decide whether you want to end your contact with him and move on. You know that he likes to maintain contact with his Exes, so you can assume he will want to keep talking to you just in case his new girlfriend gets fat again and you become fitter again.





The most glaring thing in your story is that he broke up with her for kind of trivial reasons. This might suggest that he forms very shallow connections with women he dates, and his connection with you may be equally shallow. Relationships like this, where one person is very confident about dismissing the other person, and the other person is emotionally needy for his approval, destructive things take place.





These are just my assessments without knowing all the facts.
not to sound selfish or anything but he needs to decide where is his heart at??? with you or with her???


tell him ';let bye gones be bye gones'; !


You are doing too much, they are both taking your energy.


If he wants to go and chill with his ex girlfriend that tells u enough, he is not serious about you and still is curious about the other side.


If i were you i would not act selfish or controlling but do point out how would he feel if the shoe was on the other foot. :) you need to stop worryng about everything, when something or someone is yours, its yours no need to be babbysitting or trying to take kare of him.


PS: who kares what parents think! its only an opinion! if the person loves you no one and nothing can do anything about it!


good luck n i hope da ex-girlfriend gains da weight on da cookout! LMAO* :)
Well, if you trust him (and my guess is you do since you allow them to have all sorts of contact with one another) then you should not have anything to worry about, even if she did lose weight and is now hot. The fact is, your bf sounds like he is very superficial - especially if he broke up with his previous gf because she didn't lose a little weight. But that's not the point. Anyway, think it over, decide if you trust him enough to be okay with him going and if you really aren't okay with it, talk to him about it and try to figure something out so that you both get what you want (in a way) and are both comfortable with the situation.
what? he has no business being friends with his ex if he's dating you. he shouldnt be calling her period, much less all the freaking time! he shouldnt be going to her place or even talking well of her all the time to you. hes obviously not over her, and hes not acting appropriately AT ALL. if he wont cut all contact with her, you need to get out of this relationship before you get in any deeper. besides, he sounds really shallow... It seems to me that you are just his f*** buddy, but he is still emotionally dating her. like you're just in the way of 'their' relationship. I think you should just step down and let them come together like they want to. you deserve better!





he should be putting her out of his mind, but it sounds like he is letting her occupy a large portion of it instead. its not appropriate for them to be friends period. I dont care if his intentions ARE innocent, play with fire and you eventually get burned. its only human nature to screw up (cheat) if we give ourselves enough opportunities to do so. he can tell you she is 'just' a friend all he wants, but that probably isnt going to make you feel any better, is it? because in truth, its not right for them to even be friends.